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Thursday, June 24, 2010

Can You Ever Really "Delete" Someone from Your Life?

Last week I attended Love 2.0, hosted by Zoosk, featuring a panel of experts discussing online dating. This discussion went beyond basic dating sites and touched on texting, calling via cell, Facebook, etc., and I'll go over some of the points in upcoming posts.

Love 2.0 did get me thinking: These days, you must "delete" someone from your life if you want to get them out of your life.

In middle school, I had a crush on a girl in the grade ahead of me named Julia. I got as far as calling her every night, which was a big deal back then. I got tired of looking up her number so I wrote it in silver crayon on my bedroom's land-line phone.

Back then, had I decided to "delete" Julia from my life, scratching that crayon off my phone would have been half the battle.

In the old days, it was as simple as "washing that man right out of your hair." We didn't have infinite contact points to reach that person afterward. Here are "traditional" items to purge after a breakup:

-Pictures
-Letters
-Ticket stubs, programs, and other mementos
-Cards
-Clothing and other items they left behind

For added effect, you can burn these items or throw them out the window.

Facebook is a killer when it comes to getting someone out of your life. Let's say you unfriend your ex, but remain friends with some of your ex's friends on Facebook. You still might have access to pictures of the ex or your ex's information.

Then there was my friend who had an emotional falling out with a guy because he was seeing another girl. A few days later she noticed his Facebook status gushing with mushy language about how he couldn't wait to see the other girl. The other girl "Liked" that status, angering my friend and prompting her to unfriend the guy.

Email has the vicious contact list and autofill that pops in an email address when you innocently type the first letter of their name.

Do you block a buddy on a messenger, risking a moment of weakness where you unblock them and communicate again? Or is it best to completely delete that name from your buddy list?

The steps to do a "2.0 Delete" don't require as much energy as the traditional delete, but it's not as easy as a traditional delete:

-Delete all old emails and get rid of their email address (clear it from the "autofill" in your email)
-Delete their number out of your phone
-Unfriend them on all social networking sites
-Block/Delete them on your messengers

Problem is, some people just don't like to delete contacts. I keep all numbers, whether it's a girl I just met or the girl I dated for five years. Maybe I think each number is a little victory, or I'm too sentimental, or perhaps I think if I stare at the number long enough, the girl will magically call me.

I use Facebook as a "positive marketing tool" for girls I should be deleting. I post "fun" things I'm doing, get into pictures with lots of great people, and hope that the girl notices my page and says, "Wow, he's really getting along great without me."

Online elements document your relationship in writing. So, you must clear out all this documentation: old messenger conversations, wall posts, emails, texts, etc. It's like an infestation, or that Whac-a-mole game. Everywhere you look, there's something else to delete.

Sadly, my phone turns into a weapon when I'm wasted. Select members from the unsuspecting populace of my contact list receive offensive messages: horrible singing prank calls, weird poetic phrases (that I think are so deep at the time), "u out?" booty calls, "thinking about you" rekindling texts.

When I'm drunk, alone, I think all my ideas are good, and I go rummaging for contacts in my phone and Facebook.

Protect yourself by having a friend shadow you or even hold your phone. The other night I announced, with drunk confidence, my grand plan to text a girl (who has a boyfriend) so she could meet up with us. My buddy played the role of disappointed parent, telling me "never to talk to that girl again."

In this day and age, we are too connected. Can we ever completely delete a person? It's no longer as simple as scraping crayon off the phone.

How do you delete people from your life? Are you also reluctant to delete contacts? How has the changing media/communication landscape affected the aftermath of your relationships? Do you find it hard to get away from exes with all the modes of communication out there?

For more stories, click here.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

How to Keep Your Relationship Fun and Fresh

Remember that famous scene from the movie When a Man Loves a Woman where Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia are in a bar, and Meg seduces him right there and then. Other people at the bar are completely stunned. This couple obviously enjoys spontaneity, adventure, and displaying open affection. Would you and your mate do something like this?

Any relationship can last for years as long as the couple keeps open communication between each other, not be afraid to try something different, and simply enjoy life! Couples that have been together ten, twenty, or thirty years must have some secret. What could it be?

How about doing something completely out of the ordinary? Try water skiing, mountain climbing, or sky diving. Whoa! Now those are different activities to share with your partner. Okay, perhaps these are too adventurous. How about trying something new, in regards to your sex life? Oral/anal sex, bondage, or taking turns being the initiator/aggressor are other possibilities. Watch X-rated movies together or live one another’s sexual fantasies. What about doing something where the two of you are intimate (but with clothes on)? Couples could take dancing lessons (ballroom, salsa, country, etc.). Or, if you are both intellects, join a book club or create one at your local library or bookstore.

Keeping the love strong can be difficult for both partners, especially in this busy 24/7 world we live in. But following the same daily routine can only lead to distance and disaster. Relationships end, children are hurt because parents divorce, and a simple, complacent life appears. Nobody wants that.

Traditional ways of keeping the love alive can also be fun, especially if it’s something the two of you have not engaged in, in a long time. For instance, have a picnic at a park or at the beach, go on a roller coaster ride, or socialize with other couples by having a BBQ. For couples to keep the love alive, each partner has to be a willing participant.

Why is it on Valentine’s Day, couples go all out by surprising each other with special gifts or sudden displays of affection? Usually, it’s the woman who values this day more than the man. Loving couples should consider every day as Valentine’s Day. Take a long bubble bath together, give each other a long, sensual massage, or a take a moonlit walk along the beach. If children are part of your lives, wait until they fall asleep, and then have a candlelight dinner, play some soft, slow music, and relish being in each other’s arms.

Simple little reminders of love can also maintain a relationship. Write a short message on a sticky note and leave it on the bathroom mirror, telling your mate you love him/her. Also, ladies send your man a love letter, either through email or postal. Men, write your special lady a love poem (use the Internet if you have no poetic abilities). Together, cook a new dish together in the kitchen to eat, and then cook together, by having each other (hey, everyone loves dessert)!

When was the last time you had sex right then and there, no matter where you were? Remember your first year of dating when spontaneous sex was intense and fun, especially if caught? You would both go at each other like animals in heat—in the office, in an elevator, in a hot tub, in the car, or anywhere the urge hit you. Being sporadic creates an exhilarating moment!

Affection is the key to a long-lasting relationship. Understanding that new activities, no matter how adventurous or crazy it may sound, can also make love last. And finally, be spontaneous; go ahead and do whatever tickles your fancy!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Making Fabulous First Impression

In you stroll, looking hot in that new dress or skirt with the Manolo's or Jimmy Choo shoes. You know you look good -- after all, it cost you a fortune. You are feeling confident due to the way you are looking and you know others can see it too. Does that ring true? Well maybe, maybe not. On the other hand, in you stroll, black Armani or Hugo Boss suit, Italian leather shoes, handmade shirt. You are feeling good, you are feeling successful and you are feeling confident. Yes, my friends, in this fatuous day and age we are what we wear.

This is not to say that we need to spend a King's ransom on the latest designer gear, fashions, style and hand crafted luxury wear from Italy or wherever. But when we dress well we feel good, we believe we look good and we feel we can do anything we choose. So when dating, it's important to look good because if you do, you will feel good too. Good style means a good level of confidence.

Forget arguing about body shape and expense in your defense against my argument here, it doesn't wash. You can look stylish and classic whatever your shape within reason and whatever your budget. Black will always be classic and well tailored clothes will always look a cut above the rest. I cannot walk down any high street or through any mall these days without being inundated with a sense of style. Everywhere we look there are shops desperate to dress you well. The fact that you don't choose to go in them is not the point. Therefore turning up for your first date in a comfy sweatshirt or sports top may make you feel relaxed but it shows absolute contempt for your date who has spent the best part of the last two hours getting ready for your squalid self. Get a grip man.

While our female readership doesn't need a lecture in self presentation generally, our male readership often does. The first thing for men to remember is that a woman will judge you by looking straight down at your shoes. You may not see what the fuss is about but she may as well be looking straight past your shoes, all the way down to hell. The fact is, the truth is in the detail. You have washed and scrubbed up well, but casting a more detailed glance over you and the small discrepancies are soon revealed. Missing cufflinks, tie all over the place, missing shirt button etc. All mean that deep down either you are a deeply wild and windswept sex god or you are a disaster in the making who has no idea of style and presentation. If you can't dress yourself buddy, what makes you think you can undress her?

But shoes are the biggest giveaway because men think of them as practical necessities that are comfortable rather than looking at the style involved. It is obvious what is classic and in fashion right now, simply turn your eyes and look through the window of the nearest ubiquitous show store. Once you have bought them, ensure they match the rest of the outfit. No don't mix brown with black and if shoeshine cream is as rare as diamonds in your apartment then get back to the shop and sort it out. Good shoes mean that you have attention to detail, she has seen and she has noted!

Men often make the mistake of thinking that the woman is relaxed and kind of a casual gal so he doesn't need to go mad when meeting up. He can be smart but casual. The bad news is most men are casual, not smart but casual. It doesn't happen in my experience. Men have no idea at all what is like to get ready as a woman. The fact that you look subtle and classically understated is lost on a man. He thinks it took you 5 minutes to get ready. He has no idea. Which is why he threw on the white shirt that needed an iron and a pair of casual trousers in such a carefree fashion.

Do not believe GQ-style magazines, however marvelous they are. While there is a small core of very well dressed men out there, they are not the norm. Take your average guy shopping to the mall on a Saturday afternoon and see how long he lasts. Whilst men have a better idea about appearance and do know some label makes and names, they are still eons behind women. But all is not lost. A man with a career can sort himself out in a few easy steps, he simply needs to get his wallet out.

Every man over the age of 25 should have a black, classic, single-breasted, good-quality suit together with the same in navy blue. He should have a casual jacket and a collection of plain colored well made cotton shirts. He should have three pairs of good quality leather shoes, in black and brown and they should be modern and in good condition. A man should have a good quality masculine watch. This is very important as it is possibly the only piece of jewelry a man may ever display. Okay a watch is a timepiece and a necessity but it speaks volumes about you. Some women have expressed a liking for men with large masculine sports watches, but whatever you do wear, it should be a classic as it will speak volumes about your taste.

You should always carry on you a good quality leather wallet that is not stuffed with receipts, preferably in black which you always wear within a jacket pocket, not stuffed into a pocket of your trousers. Whilst you may begin to think I am trying to describe James Bond, you are not far wrong. You can do far worse than to watch a Bond movie to get a sense of class and style. Neither am I suggesting that you alter your image from that which is really you. But as we are discussing first impressions, then you will need to think carefully about the way you do present yourself.

I can only think of a handful of men in my lifetime who do smart but casual well. For many men, it means jeans and a crumpled shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Take a good look about you and think long and hard about your current image and get some feedback from female friends as to how they really perceive your look. You may get a nasty shock. If you are pleasantly surprised then you are on your way.

Looking good is important, as is feeling comfortable. However along with this you should smell good. For men, Aftershave and cologne of a high quality are essential, and the less mainstream the better. For a start, if it is not one of the perennial brands then your date may not have smelled the scent before and will find it unusual and possibly attractive. She will most certainly notice. This is all part of making a good impression. It shows you have made an effort for her and you care. More than one Aftershave is good, a lemon based on for day wear and a heavier woody cologne for the evening with a hint of musk. But always consult and test because many Aftershaves do not suit some types of skin. So spray and then walk round the store before deciding.

Looking and smelling good is not a one-off situation. For second and subsequent dates you need to keep up the good work so I am not recommending your first impression-making attempts are not really you. Take a long hard look at your current image and begin to change things for the better if necessary. And certainly for the long term. Finally, remember that your efforts will be appreciated even if nothing is ever said. In one short phrase, first impressions count.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Relationship Expectations - Are Your Relationship Expectations Realistic?

When looking for Mrs. or Mr. Right, we all have a fantasy ideal in mind: tall, dark and handsome, a movie star body with a Pulitzer Prize winner’s brain or another variation that suits you perfectly.

There’s nothing wrong with these kinds of pedestals, either. Fantasizing about your dream mate will only help you to discover more of what you want and need in a relationship. But where do you draw the line between fantasy and reality? When do you know your relationship expectations aren’t realistic?

Your relationship expectations may be unreasonable if…

  • You have specific requirements regarding your potential mate’s height, weight, and/or appearance that aren’t negotiable under any circumstances;
  • You refuse to date anyone unless they make a certain amount of money;
  • You won’t date someone who lives further than a quick drive away;
  • Anyone without similar interests as you is out of the question; and/or
  • You require a person to trust you and open up to you immediately.

Your relationship expectations are probably reasonable if…

  • A spark of some sorts is required, whether it’s mental, physical or emotional;
  • You want someone who finds you amusing, adorable, and/or exciting;
  • You are holding out for someone whose basic views on the world are similar, but not necessarily identical to yours; and/or
  • Someone with the same willingness to be in a relationship and with similar long-term dating goals, whether that’s for casual dating, cohabitation or a committed marriage.

So what are you to do if you don't know what your expectations for a relationship are - or worse - some of your expectations fall into the no-no category?

Brainstorming Your Relationship Expectations

Take a moment and brainstorm on paper for a little bit; ten or fifteen minutes should do the trick nicely. Close your eyes and picture your ideal mate: what talents, qualities, personality traits, experiences and emotional capabilities do you want him or her to have? Don't censor yourself, and let your mind wander to wherever it goes. If you're having a hard time coming up with some ideas, think about your past relationships and use their positive aspects as your starting guide.

Next, write the number one next to all of the items you wrote that you feel are essential to your happiness, and a two next to the items that would be nice, but not necessary.

Ranking Your Relationship Expectations

Take all of the items marked with the number one, and list them in your own order of importance on a seperate sheet of paper. If this is hard (and for most people it is!) write each item on a small seperate sticky note. Then, place each item in order of most important to least important on a wall or other large surface, and move the sticky notes around until you feel you've found the right combination.

Look at your top five items. These are the expectations you have for a quality relationship that you should never compromise on. Therefore, if you meet someone who you are extremely attracted to, but doesn't have all five of the items you've listed on your must-have list - it's time to move on.

Evolution is Necessary When it Comes to Relationship Expectations

Finally, realize that your relationship expectations will change and evolve over time. Don't be scared to review your list and go through this exercise after every breakup as a part of your preparations to date again, or anytime you feel your relationship needs have changed.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Woman's Body Language And Intentions Hidden In Body Moves

I met a woman recently; we hadn't done much talking but she asked for my details. So I'm just happy to bask in the knowledge that she was attracted.

I'm glad that I had little flirtation from it. It's sometimes hard to decipher body language. The back rubbing just seemed more intimate gesture to me than anything else.

Reading signs of attraction - how to decipher her legs position?
Let's say you're sitting at a square table. If a woman is not facing you directly or turning her chair to face you, that's a sign she isn't interested.

If she crosses her legs away from you, it's also a sign that she is not interested. Look at her foot. If she is pointing at you with her legs crossed, it is a sign of attraction.

Understanding body language - what if a woman is touching you?

If the foot is pointing to the other side the room, she is not attracted to you.

If you notice that she is touching you a lot, like helping you out the door or putting her hand on your back to assist you out the door, you know that she's paying attention to your presence which is a good sign. She likes what she sees and are trying to take it all in.

When a woman touches the man's shoulder it's a gesture of body contact

Bottom line: When you think about the intentions of her moves, rubbing her body etc, it's just an excuse to touch you because she's attracted to you. When a woman touches the hem of a man's shirt while laughing, it's a sign of attraction.

If a woman looks at just your eyes, she is not romantically or sexually attracted to you, but if she is looking at your mouth and your eyes and your hair, she is trying to really scan you and form a good solid picture of you.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

The Difference Between Relationship And Friendship

What is the difference between a close friendship and a close relation? Most of us believe that when friendship becomes stronger, it may turn into relationship. The truth is different. Think about the kind of talk you have with your friends. You are always very open about your failures and shortcomings. You are not shy of talking about your problem and asking friends to help. In a close friendship, you expect to know everything about each other.

How about a relationship? Think about animals. They also show their best side to their mate. We human beings keep lot of secrets away from our partner. We do not want to tell about our failures and shortcomings. We also try to impress our partner when we are in romance. This difference between friendship and relationship is very deep. We calculate our moves in a relationship but are very open in a friendship. We are like a child in friendships but behave like an adult in relationships.

If you remain inside your boundaries in a relationship and not try to change it into a close friendship, you will have longer relationships. Telling all does not help in relationships.


Thursday, June 3, 2010

The Real-life Consequences Of Online Dating

How does the digital dating world affect your everyday life?
Maybe they don't have this problem in places like New York and L.A., but mine is a small city by many standards, and it seems like every single person here is dabbling in online dating. On the surface, this is great -- it ostensibly ups your chances for love if there are tons of people to choose from. But you also have to keep in mind that everyone means everyone.

So far, I've personally run across several the profiles of several dudes from middle school, a guy who works at my favorite happy hour haunt, a very close friend and one of my doctors. It seems like no big deal -- and maybe it doesn't have to be. But you have to keep in mind that stumbling across what is essentially a personals ad for someone you usually see in a completely different light can be jarring. It can make things awkward when you two meet again in person. And it can bring up issues you never thought about before.

Your single boss could stumble upon your profile and find out you actually hate your job -- and him. You might hit on your son's teacher, jeopardizing your relationship with someone you need to be able to count on. You could run into someone you recently rejected while you're sauntering down the street and have to figure out whether to ignore him or say hi. Do you really want to see your ex's profile? How about your roommate's and your best friend's?

In the age of Twitter, Facebook and myriad other social networking sites, we're starting to learn that the question of who has access to your info - - and even who is knows that you use certain digital tools -- can really matter. If anything, it's yet another reason to be cautious about what we send out over the Web, and maybe even another chance to reexamine how it's affecting our real lives.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

First Impressions: Look Good When Dating

Look your best and you'll have a better chance of snagging another date
In you stroll, looking hot in that new dress or skirt with the Manolo's or Jimmy Choo shoes. You know you look good -- after all, it cost you a fortune. You are feeling confident due to the way you are looking and you know others can see it too. Does that ring true? Well maybe, maybe not. On the other hand, in you stroll, black Armani or Hugo Boss suit, Italian leather shoes, handmade shirt. You are feeling good, you are feeling successful and you are feeling confident. Yes, my friends, in this fatuous day and age we are what we wear.
This is not to say that we need to spend a King's ransom on the latest designer gear, fashions, style and hand crafted luxury wear from Italy or wherever. But when we dress well we feel good, we believe we look good and we feel we can do anything we choose. So when dating, it's important to look good because if you do, you will feel good too. Good style means a good level of confidence.
Forget arguing about body shape and expense in your defense against my argument here, it doesn't wash. You can look stylish and classic whatever your shape within reason and whatever your budget. Black will always be classic and well tailored clothes will always look a cut above the rest. I cannot walk down any high street or through any mall these days without being inundated with a sense of style. Everywhere we look there are shops desperate to dress you well. The fact that you don't choose to go in them is not the point. Therefore turning up for your first date in a comfy sweatshirt or sports top may make you feel relaxed but it shows absolute contempt for your date who has spent the best part of the last two hours getting ready for your squalid self. Get a grip man.
While our female readership doesn't need a lecture in self presentation generally, our male readership often does. The first thing for men to remember is that a woman will judge you by looking straight down at your shoes. You may not see what the fuss is about but she may as well be looking straight past your shoes, all the way down to hell. The fact is, the truth is in the detail. You have washed and scrubbed up well, but casting a more detailed glance over you and the small discrepancies are soon revealed. Missing cufflinks, tie all over the place, missing shirt button etc. All mean that deep down either you are a deeply wild and windswept sex god or you are a disaster in the making who has no idea of style and presentation. If you can't dress yourself buddy, what makes you think you can undress her?
But shoes are the biggest giveaway because men think of them as practical necessities that are comfortable rather than looking at the style involved. It is obvious what is classic and in fashion right now, simply turn your eyes and look through the window of the nearest ubiquitous show store. Once you have bought them, ensure they match the rest of the outfit. No don't mix brown with black and if shoeshine cream is as rare as diamonds in your apartment then get back to the shop and sort it out. Good shoes mean that you have attention to detail, she has seen and she has noted!
Men often make the mistake of thinking that the woman is relaxed and kind of a casual gal so he doesn't need to go mad when meeting up. He can be smart but casual. The bad news is most men are casual, not smart but casual. It doesn't happen in my experience. Men have no idea at all what is like to get ready as a woman. The fact that you look subtle and classically understated is lost on a man. He thinks it took you 5 minutes to get ready. He has no idea. Which is why he threw on the white shirt that needed an iron and a pair of casual trousers in such a carefree fashion.
Do not believe GQ-style magazines, however marvelous they are. While there is a small core of very well dressed men out there, they are not the norm. Take your average guy shopping to the mall on a Saturday afternoon and see how long he lasts. Whilst men have a better idea about appearance and do know some label makes and names, they are still eons behind women. But all is not lost. A man with a career can sort himself out in a few easy steps, he simply needs to get his wallet out.
Every man over the age of 25 should have a black, classic, single-breasted, good-quality suit together with the same in navy blue. He should have a casual jacket and a collection of plain colored well made cotton shirts. He should have three pairs of good quality leather shoes, in black and brown and they should be modern and in good condition. A man should have a good quality masculine watch. This is very important as it is possibly the only piece of jewelry a man may ever display. Okay a watch is a timepiece and a necessity but it speaks volumes about you. Some women have expressed a liking for men with large masculine sports watches, but whatever you do wear, it should be a classic as it will speak volumes about your taste.
You should always carry on you a good quality leather wallet that is not stuffed with receipts, preferably in black which you always wear within a jacket pocket, not stuffed into a pocket of your trousers. Whilst you may begin to think I am trying to describe James Bond, you are not far wrong. You can do far worse than to watch a Bond movie to get a sense of class and style. Neither am I suggesting that you alter your image from that which is really you. But as we are discussing first impressions, then you will need to think carefully about the way you do present yourself.
I can only think of a handful of men in my lifetime who do smart but casual well. For many men, it means jeans and a crumpled shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Take a good look about you and think long and hard about your current image and get some feedback from female friends as to how they really perceive your look. You may get a nasty shock. If you are pleasantly surprised then you are on your way.
Looking good is important, as is feeling comfortable. However along with this you should smell good. For men, Aftershave and cologne of a high quality are essential, and the less mainstream the better. For a start, if it is not one of the perennial brands then your date may not have smelled the scent before and will find it unusual and possibly attractive. She will most certainly notice. This is all part of making a good impression. It shows you have made an effort for her and you care. More than one Aftershave is good, a lemon based on for day wear and a heavier woody cologne for the evening with a hint of musk. But always consult and test because many Aftershaves do not suit some types of skin. So spray and then walk round the store before deciding.
Looking and smelling good is not a one-off situation. For second and subsequent dates you need to keep up the good work so I am not recommending your first impression-making attempts are not really you. Take a long hard look at your current image and begin to change things for the better if necessary. And certainly for the long term. Finally, remember that your efforts will be appreciated even if nothing is ever said. In one short phrase, first impressions count.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Dating Etiquette and Rules to Follow

When you start dating, following a few rules of thumb will help you be more successful. It's tempting to avoid restating the basics, but the truth is, we all forget them from time to time. Dating is about two people coming together to get to know one another and find out whether they are compatible, then enjoying each other's company and eventually forming a close bond. During this process, there are some important guidelines you should remember:

1. Dating should always be fun, and it's as much your responsibility as it is your partner's to ensure that it is. When you're dating, make sure you do everything you can to make the time you spend together enjoyable. 2. Eye contact is crucial, and it's good etiquette to give your date as much of your attention as possible. They should feel like they are the only person in the room. Do not use a date as an excuse for general partying. 3. Always be courteous and complimentary. Your date has made an effort to look nice for you, and your negative opinions and comments are unwelcome at this stage. 4.Never ogle your date. It's rude, and it proves that all you care about is the other person's physical appearance. This will turn a woman off faster than almost anything else. 5. Always show up for a date, unless you've given notice and let the other person know you have to cancel. Standing someone up is not acceptable, and it shows contempt for your prospective date by wasting their time. That kind of arrogance is detestable. 6. Always be on time, and never keep your date waiting. If your transportation is unreliable, plan ahead and leave early so you can be there when the other person arrives. Being late shows a lack of respect for your date and illustrates how disorganized you are. 7. Never be flashy or extravagant. There's no need to attempt to impress your partner with your wealth and importance. It shows no taste whatsoever to throw your credit card around and order expensive champagne, unless you're only after cheap thrills and don't care how it makes you look in front of the person you're trying to get to know. 8. Smoking excessively during a date is bad form, unless your partner also enjoys chain-smoking. In general, smoking in a restaurant will do nothing for your image and shows crass disregard for others. 9. Don't be arrogant on your date, and try to avoid talking about politics and/or religion in the early stages. You may be very opinionated on certain topics, but that does not mean you're right, or that your opinions won't offend the person you're with. Arrogance makes most people feel uncomfortable, so avoid it at all costs. 10. Never argue or be rude to others during your date -- it simply is unacceptable. You're trying to show the other person your best qualities, so arguing about the tip or whether the wine is chilled enough will make you look like a fool. 11. Be a good listener, and don't talk your date to death. Listening shows interest and the ability to compromise. If your idea of a date is talking about yourself and your opinions all night, then do the world a favor and stay at home alone. 12. Dress well. In this day and age, there is absolutely no excuse for looking shabby. Dressing poorly shows laziness and will do nothing to make you look good. Furthermore, it shows a lack of respect for your date, who has more than likely made an effort to dress nicely. 13. Make an effort to be clean and smell good. Make sure you're clean-shaven (where applicable), freshly showered and smell nice. It costs you nothing except a bottle of good perfume/cologne and some soap. 14. Never swear or use bad language. It will make you sound like an idiot. If you want to find the person of your dreams, you must treat them with respect. 15. Never discuss your other dates or how many people you've slept with. It's rude and shows you have no class. 16. Even if you don't like your date, don't be quick to give them a hard time. Your partner is human and, like you, deserves to always to be treated with respect. You can still have a good time hanging out with someone you're not attracted to, so treating them badly just because they're not your type is unacceptable. Rudeness is not allowed. 17. Never tell lies on a date to get someone into bed or to try to make yourself sound good. You will be found out, and then you will be rejected. Tell the truth, or avoid a subject if necessary. 18. The man should pick up the dinner tab on the first date, and it's probably a bad idea to discuss money at all at this stage. Many people feel that financial discussions are crass and lack sophistication. 19. Make sure your date feels comfortable at all times, and never do anything that might make them uncomfortable. Also, a man should always make sure his date gets home safely in a cab or by other means. 20. Never try to sleep with someone on the first date. Sex comes later. If you sleep together too early, chances are it will be over before it began. 21. Be as entertaining and witty as possible, and never rely on getting drunk as a fall-back plan. Drinking too much on a date shows that you have no respect for your partner and makes a mockery of the whole situation. 22. Call when you say you'll call, and never leave someone hanging. If you didn't have a good time on your date, don't falsely promise anything or leave the door open. Doing so shows great disrespect for the other person, and it's much easier for everyone if you're honest about how you feel. 23. Never pretend to be single when you're not. Telling your companion late in the game that you're taken is very inconsiderate. Date only when you are single.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Dating as a Challenge

Master the social art of dating by playing the game!
For some people, dating is a challenge. It is a conquest, a crusade and a sport. As you are neither a competitor or a prize, don't allow yourself to be come a victim to such players. Dating is an affair of the heart and should be treated as such. It is fun to date but it is also serious business. However, when we date, it is true that we do like a challenge, we like to get the guy, we like to get the gal. It makes us feel good about ourselves to date someone nice and so it would be unfair not to talk about challenge in dating.

We often like to go for someone just out of reach, that is a challenge. As humans with ambition, we like to reach and strive upwards. Therefore, dating someone we view as slightly out of our league (for a million reasons) is all the more attractive. This could be someone wealthy, or in a good job, or someone who is simply not usually our 'type'.
It is interesting how we are able to adapt ourselves to this level of interest in people we may not usually consider, when we are dating. Generally we will stick to people in our own social strata as we are more comfortable here and we will date those people who we generally have done in the past. After all, it is where we feel subconsciously that we belong.

Yet every now and again a challenge presents itself. You see a guy who you really fancy, someone you could really go for but someone who may not normally go for a girl (or guy) like you. As a guy you see a girl who would not take a second glance at you. The challenge is set. Challenges are healthy because they take us out of our comfort zone and allow us to grow as human beings. They also give us confidence, especially when we succeed in our challenge.
Who doesn't want to date a supermodel or a male superstar? Its a natural part of fantasy to strive for what we perceive as perfection. Reality may be different but it doesn't prevent us from taking on challenges occasionally. However it is fair to say, that in reality we won't date the superstars and even if we did, we would probably not enjoy it half so much anyway.
When I was younger I had always wanted to date a rich girl and I was lucky to meet a great girl called Nicola who had very wealthy parents. It was not that I was very poor but I was attracted to and interested in her lifestyle and everything about her lifestyle. Not for possessions, but just because her ways of doing things were different to my own.

The first weekend I was invited to her parents house in London and soon discovered that her world was out of my league. We went to a party and I was expected to cover the cost of champagne. Even the smallest things were way out of my price range and soon I discovered that however much I liked this girl I really didn't fit in and couldn't afford her world unfortunately. There were her ways of doing things that I knew nothing about. Forms of behavior and social etiquette that I was new to and I found every function stressful. In the end we parted amicably and I wished her the best. The point of the story being that to date a girl like her was challenge, but once I got there, she was a date too difficult to sustain.

For girls the challenge is in dating a cool, good-looking bad-boy. He could be the ski instructor or the life guard or the surf instructor. No woman has managed to capture this man's heart so she thinks she is the one to do it. He is enigmatic, he is trouble with a capital T, and he is oh so Mr. Popular. All the girls love him because he is a maverick. So why do the girls love him, because he doesn't care, because he is full of confidence, because he doesn't need a woman. This raises the interests levels of certain women. They rise to the challenge and aim to be the one who will tame him.
Why is it that you are ALWAYS more popular when you have a partner? It is of course because you are attractive by design. You have a partner therefore the people around you see you as being more attractive and successful in relationships. After all, if they have you and you respect them ,then there must be something about you after all. The challenge is set, they want you also, because they want to challenge themselves to see if they can get you. They may not want you but they certainly want to know that they could have had you! Its a real irony, but you are at your most desirable when attached and at your most wanted. The moment you are single, people want to know why.

Insecurity in some promotes challenge. By having conquests and sleeping with many partners one gets a false sense of attractiveness, self confidence and being wanted. The fact is, its just sex, nothing more. When a guy is young her will challenge himself to get certain girls into bed. He will aim to seek confidence and self understanding through self-set conquests. It is mainly a sign of immaturity, but it affects people of all adult ages.
Challenges in dating will always be with us, they are a natural part of our psyche in us wanting to obtain something and someone we feel is out of our reach. When dating make sure that you are not someone else's challenge and be a little cautious. If you yourself are seeking a dating challenge then at least have the respect to date the person properly once they finally say yes to your charms.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Confidence in Dating

Why You Should Become More Confident

I once read the results of a survey in a leading woman's magazine that said the number 1 most attractive quality in a man was confidence. Not arrogance, confidence. It took some time to sink in as to what this really meant. Did it mean grabbing the girl in matinee idol pose and whisking her backwards whilst I kissed those luscious lips of hers? Did it mean turning into a caveman never taking no for an answer? Did it mean turning up at the door of the girl next door and whisking her off to Paris for the weekend, though we had hardly spoken? What did they mean by confidence? The quest was on it find out.

Every woman I have asked will answer in a different vein so the answer isn't all things to all men. Confidence, it appears, is in the eye of the beholder. Even worse, confidence can easily be misconstrued so one has to tread carefully. The point is not confidence itself, but it’s easier to define by its opposite, fear. Fear in men is not attractive. Fear defines a man as not knowing his own value, lacking a feeling of self worth, not being sure of his abilities, lacking in presence and determination. This I may add is very different from justifiable fear that we all face.

Okay, back to confidence. Men are attractive when they are confident said one friend. Another told me, "ooh a confident man makes me go weak at the knees". So I pressed them further. A confident man it seems is one who carries with him a self-assuredness that is most definitely not arrogance. It is a state where a man feels sure of himself and his abilities, knows what he is about, knows himself for what he can do,, what he may be able to do, what he may fail at but does not fear to try. A confident man is in control of his destiny, his future, his career, his day. And to many women that is very attractive.

After all, a woman is looking for a partner, one who will not only match with her mentally and physically, but someone who can drive her onwards, someone who has ambition and vitality, someone who can pass hi self assuredness on to her. A man who is confident is sexy because he is comfortable with himself, he is in control and he is able to make decisions, good decisions. He is confident in the choices he makes and in choosing you (maybe really you selected him), he passes this feeling of being special on to you. Being selected by the right man can be very sexy indeed.

If you are going to date the beauty in the corner and father her children then running away is not a good start, neither is feeling bad about yourself and failing to be able to hold a decent conversation. Far too many men decide in advance of an approach if they are worth of a woman's attentions or not. All too often they believe they are not. Except where alcohol is involved. Men in bars exude confidence, but they also exude beer breath as well! No the fact is that guys who lack confidence prejudge most situations and inevitably take themselves out of the dating fray before it ever happens, hoping, strangely, that the woman will make the first move.

The fact is, the confident men more often than not get the girl, because the confident man has something about him. I know plenty of good looking handsome men who are afraid to approach women so it’s not necessarily about looks. No, it’s about something within. Confidence is about self respect and self understanding. It comes from understanding what you yourself are about and when this happens a sexy man reaches out. Often lack of confidence in men is because of physique and yet it is an issue so easy to fix. 12 weeks in a gym will change a man's life. A fit man is a confident man. Dress is also something that instills confidence. No man has an excuse for not dressing reasonably smart these days as fashion for men is everywhere.

Ultimately we all lose confidence from time to time. People can take our confidence away at work or at home, in partnerships and on our own. Ultimately though these are passing phases. If a man can do one thing for himself in the dating game, that is to learn about his own confidence levels in an honest way and then go about doing something to increase them. Feel good about yourself guys and someone will feel good about you.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Top Five Online Dating Sites

Personality profiles and time-tested matching systems help members find the most compatible matches with the possibility of pursuing a serious relationship. Read more about these top 5 online dating Websites and start searching.

Yahoo Personals
The Yahoo Personals dating site has millions of members with detailed photo profiles that offer the freedom to describe yourself in full detail. Yahoo Personals online dating service is among the best online dating services due to the following features:

1. Large membership base
2. Diverse members
3. Online dating advice magazine
4. Multiple communication options including email and instant messages
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PerfectMatch
Thirty years of scientific research back up the compatibility matching system used by PerfectMatch. More than 4 million members use the service to find compatible singles for dating and relationships. You can sit back and wait for the service to match you with others, or search for a new partner on your own! Join PerfectMatch to get the following great features:

1. Duet Total Compatibility System
2. Powerful search tools Matches made by the system
3. More Info on Perfect Match
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eHarmony
If you're seeking a serious relationship, look no further than eHarmony. This online dating service requires members to fill out an extensive personality profile that helps the service match members with one another. By delving deep into your personality and emotions, eHarmony is able to match you with other online dating service members who are highly compatible. eHarmony offers quality matches based on:

1. Character and constitution
2. Personality
3. Emotional makeup and skills
4. Family and values
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Match.com
With millions of members, Match.com is one of the largest online dating services. You can also search the site to find people that interest you. Match.com is one of the best online dating services and offers members many ways to get to know one another as quickly or slowly as they prefer.Special Match.com online dating features include:

1. Dr. Phil's MindFindBind solution for successful relationships
2. Make Love Happen guarantee: find someone special within 6 months or get 6 more months free!
3. Free portrait toolkit to help you start creating your profile
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Chemistry.com
Chemistry.com is a perfect online dating service for busy professionals who want to meet compatible people as soon as possible! Chemistry's main focus is bringing people together in real life very quickly, but while still giving them a chance to get to know each other first. To accomplish this, the online dating site uses these features:

1. Complete a personality profile to get your matches
2. Guided communication process to learn about each other
3. Meet in person as soon as you're ready!
4. Service adjusts your future matches based on what you think of people you've met
Type any of the dating sites named above in google search to get the site's link should you have interest in any.

Top Dating Dos and Don'ts

No one ever said dating was easy. First dates are awkward, second dates are expectant and the dates that follow that -- during which two people really start getting down to the business of getting to know each other -- present hundreds, if not thousands, of opportunities for missteps, faux pas, blunders and mistakes. That is to say nothing of the myriad chances for problems to which you could fall prey while arranging, planning and preparing for dates.

We call too often or not enough, we're too available or never around, we wear sandals to fancy restaurants, laugh hysterically at bad jokes, show up with blue carnations, gab on our cell phones during dinner and commit countless other dating crimes, mostly without realizing we’re doing it. No doubt about it -- bad dating behavior is a rampant affliction, and it's time to cure it with some common sense advice.

If dating is a game, then just like any other game, there are rules you need to study, learn and follow. After all, you wouldn't take the field without knowing where the base lines are, would you? (For those of you who are immune to ball field metaphors, the answer is "no.") While none of these do's and don'ts are set in stone -- and, as your mother told you, there are obviously exceptions to every rule -- here we attempt to equip you with an idiot-proof playbook for the fast-paced, intense, exciting, full-contact sport of searching for someone with whom to fall in love.

Dating Rules -- Do's
1. Do try to always look your best and be punctual. Showing up late or looking messy gives the impression that you don't care -- and, if that's the case, why go out with this person in the first place?

2. Do try to enjoy yourself on dates. Yes, finding your soul mate is serious business, and it can sometimes even be a scary endeavor, but keep in mind that this is supposed to be fun.

3. Do compliment your date on how he or she looks. Men and women tend to put a lot of effort into getting ready for a date, and it's nice (and flattering) to hear that all that energy paid off.

4. Do be interested and interesting. Ask questions, share insights and pay attention when your date is telling you what they like to do, read, watch, listen to, etc.

5. Do tell someone directly if you're not interested in seeing them again. Lying and stringing people along simply because you're too scared to tell them the truth is selfish and hurtful. If you don't want to go on another date with someone, let them down as gently -- but firmly -- as possible.

6. Do date only people you're attracted to, no matter what your friends say. Approval by your peers doesn't prove a thing.

7. Do stay positive, even when dates don't end well. It is most certainly true that you will date a few frogs before you find a prince. Along the way, you will probably meet some pretty nice people.

8. Do plan ahead. Dating is a creative diversion that requires concentration and energy, so make arrangements ahead of time and let your date know you put some thought into the evening.

9. Do be proactive about finding people to date. The man or woman you've been searching for your whole life is probably not going to come ring your doorbell and beg you to go to dinner anytime soon. Dating requires action, so get out there and meet as many people as you can.

10. Do surround yourself with positive, like-minded people who are dating, too. Part of the fun of dating is celebrating, comparing notes and commiserating with your friends. Surround yourself with positive people who are rooting for you to succeed at love and will be there for you if/when you need emotional support.

Dating Rules -- Don'ts
1. Don't call, text message or email someone you've just started seeing more than once a day unless they reply (or in the event of an emergency). Desperation and instability are major turnoffs.

2. Don't date the kind of people who've hurt you in the past. Many of us are attracted to people who are bad for us, but it's important to break these patterns and seek out healthy relationships with matches who won't demean you or make you feel bad about yourself in any way.

3. Don't be late for a date. It's just rude. If you have to change your plans, give the other person as much notice and consideration as possible. And always apologize.

4. Don't lie to your date or about any aspect of your life, even if the truth isn't as sexy or you're worried they won't like it. It would be awful to ruin a potentially life-changing relationship with your perfect match because of some silly lie you told early on to impress him or her.

5. Don't be too available. We don't mean you should play games, but if you're free every night, you're probably not taking care of yourself, pursuing your own interests and spending time with your friends -- which means you're probably not very interesting to talk to. People with full, exciting lives make the best dates.

6. Don't give away too much about yourself at the beginning. Revealing your innermost secrets on the second date can lead to rejection. Don't be scared to open up, but remember that getting to know someone takes time, and you should let your relationship evolve.

7. Don't check out other people when you're on a date. Ever. This is just tacky. You may think you are subtle, but while you're scoping the cutie in the corner, your date will be heading for the door. Extend your partner the courtesy of concentrating solely on them while you're with them.

8. Don't be rude or get drunk on a date. Courtesy and manners will get you everywhere.

9. Don't ignore your personal safety. Carry your cell phone and keep it charged -- and make sure to tell your friends where you're going and when you'll be back. First dates should take place in well-lit public places. Don't ever let yourself be coerced into going anywhere or doing anything that makes you uncomfortable.

10. Don't give out personal information like your home phone number or address on the first date. Keep these details to yourself until you trust the person you're dating.

11. Don't have sex on a first date. If you like someone and are interested in getting to know them better (and possibly having a relationship), sex on a first date will likely ruin everything. It's much too soon, it's not romantic and it communicates to the other person that you're more interested in their physical characteristics than in finding out who they are.

12. Never date a married person. Statistically, it is very unlikely that they will ever leave their husband or wife for you. Dating someone who's married is the best way to serve yourself a heaping helping of misery, lies, deceit, sadness and heartache. If you are married, separate before dating. If you're single, don't be a shoulder to cry on -- you deserve better. Go out and find someone who's emotionally (and legally) available to you!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Tips For Dating - Women

Dating tips for women will help every lady find the man of her dreams.

From general dating advice for women to specific explanations of lazy and possessive men, we have all the dating tips that women need. Learn how to use body language to your benefit while searching for Mr. Right, start to understand what men want, and get an explanation of why men are like hunters—always on the prowl in the dating jungle. Once you know how men think and where they're coming from, you'll have a better chance of attracting men whose behavior you understand and whose company you enjoy! Dating will be more fun and invigorating once you know more about what you're hoping to accomplish!

Guys: If you don't like this, look away now.

In another dating article on this site, you will find a general set of rules than men should follow when dating. In the same way, women have some general rules that they should contend with when entering the dating jungle. Now I know everyone is different, so don't take things too seriously here. There has been some controversy over some literature published in the USA that lays out in detail the rules a woman should follow to get her guy (or gal). Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider's 1995 bestseller "The Rules," explains how women should play hard if they want to get their guy. I can understand why some groups would be hostile about this, but the fact is that when we grow up, there are a predefined set of dating rules. What happens is that we forget most of them after the age of 21, and then realize we need to relearn them.
I wish there weren't any general rules, but courtship is a ritual. There are things that we make happen that excite, stimulate, create interest and confound. Dating is a long test of compatibility. Are we perfectly matched? If we just threw ourselves together, then the chances of long term happiness might be compromised. And yet previous generations managed to succeed on a far less complex courtship criteria list. Many arranged marriages work all too interestingly.
In every society there are a predefined set of social rules we follow, from the way and timing of eating to the way we behave in public. The issue here is that when women date, there are some things that can help them be more successful. If we accept that dating is a game, then there are rules to that game. There are winners and losers. If you know the rules in advance, it gives you a head start. If men know the rules by which you are playing, you may change the rules to suit the situation to keep the man guessing. Men love a challenge, so feel free to adapt rules and add them as you feel inclined.

You can separate rules out into two parts, dating and online dating. Both areas have distinct rules that a woman should follow for dating success.

General Dating Rules
Always look great, whatever your income. Gorgeous hair and some lipstick with rags will still turn his head. You have the advantage. You are the woman. Look your best as you could meet a potential Mr. Right anywhere at any time. Never reveal information you don't have to. An enigmatic woman drives men wild.

Keep dates brief, but your men interested. Less is always more.

Try and stay in shape and involve some fitness regime at a gym. However much you hate it, your Mr. Right loves your body as much as your mind. Let your man pay. If he is interested, he is interested enough to ensure you eat well and get home safely in a cab. Ensure you receive flowers. If he doesn't know what a florist is, dump him.

Never ever sleep with a guy until he has fallen for you. Sex early in your dating game plan will ruin everything. Always keep a guy waiting and never turn up early. It is a lady's perogative.

Never be available when he wants you to be. Never be at the end of a phone when he calls and always let him leave a message or two first before replying. If he is available Tuesday, you are available Thursday. Weekend shopping trips with girlfriends are sacred and not available for dates. Keep your man standing on quicksand by shifting landmarks and goalposts constantly.

Ensure you are a good kisser. Men will walk away if you cannot kiss. Practice on a mirror if you have to. Never ever talk about previous boyfriends, particularly their prowess in the bedroom.

Your ex-boyfriends are your business only. Never assume anything about your date until you choose to know him better. You cannot always tell by looking. If any man shows the slightest signs of possessiveness or insecurity, run like the wind. Life is too short for boys. If his shoes or hygiene are a disgrace, dump him.

Never talk too much about your father and how your date measures up in comparison. Never ever come across as too available or too desperate. He will run a mile. He is the one doing the chasing. If the guy in the corner is gorgeous, go get him and create the need in him for you.

Never wait for men to come to you because you may watch him leave with someone else. You may well have all the bodily functions of a man, just try not to demonstrate them early on. If you want a child, don't mention it on the first few dates.

Never ever criticize his mother unless you want to remain single.

Online Dating Rules
Always let them come to you, don't chase them via email.

Block anyone who annoys you instantly.

Post the best and most vampish photo you can find.

Don't reply to instant messages with clever opening lines.

Remain aloof and let yourself be chased.

Always reply to emails at least 3 days after receipt.

Never provide your real email or phone details.

Always date safely and protect yourself at every turn.

Make sure your login name is stunning and sexy, as well as enigmatic.

Do not login for hours on end. Short, rapid visits are best.

Do not assume the person you are talking to is destitute or sad.

Never ever reply to emails on weekends. Wait until a weekday.

Never state how good your sexual performance is in your profile. If you don't want to date married men, spell it out in your profile.

A man who doesn't reply to your email within 3 days should be ignored.

Make sure your humor levels come across in text. Do not chat to hundreds of men at once.

The delay in replying is a dead giveaway and your Mr. Right will be off. Don't even think about misrepresenting your size or description. They will find out. Come across as cool and sophisticated for best results Ladies, always remember that you are a sexy, desirable woman and the world is your oyster.

Always let men do the chasing and always allow yourself to be the chooser.

Always stay safe and never risk yourself for the sake of attending a date.

Dating Rules For Men

You are a guy who is always in a serious relationship. You are a guy who hasn't dated in years. Or maybe you're a guy who has never been successful with women. Whatever your situation, there are some common dating rules to follow when venturing into the dating jungle. These conventions even the playing field, preparing you for success while protected your emotions. Women are trained from day one in the art of dating warfare. They have a physical and emotional arsenal that you may never hope to match. But you won't be outgunned if you properly prepare for the battle.

1. Look your best. Get some decent clothes and shoes. Women always look at your shoes, even if you last checked your Nikes in 1996. Get clothes that fit you, suit you and are contemporary. Don't just buy one outfit, sort out your entire wardrobe. Buy a nice tailored suit, there is no excuse not to. If you can't take care of yourself, how are you going to take care of her?

2. Sort out your hygiene and styling. Go down to the barbers and clean up your hair, getting it styled if possible. If you don't have much hair, still get down to the salon, maybe get your head shaved. Or just get a regular shave, a professional shave will leave your face looking and feeling great. Then it is off to the shops with you for good quality cologne and a grooming kit. Men are so often criticized for smelling bad. Get into a regular showering routine so you will always smell fresh and clean. Women appreciate it.

3. Sort out your job if you have one. Women want a man who has some ambition in life. Coasting along as a skateboard instructor is generally not going to win you a real catch (though I'd give it a go, I love skateboarding). Any job is better than none, but knuckle down and sort out some direction in your life. If possible try and look like you have something of a career. If you have a manual job, at least have some plans to work for yourself, and if you already do, then you are on the right track. But know what you are about work wise and have some idea of your future plans because women will ask questions about your prospects. Even if they pretend it isn't important, it is.

4. Be in the know. Make sure you are up to date with current affairs, watch the news and read quality papers. Women do not appreciate stupidity, and laziness is no excuse for sounding dumb. Current affairs are important in showing you know all about the world we live in. If you travel a lot then this will help tremendously. If you don't, make plans to travel and tell her about it. Proving you are willing and able to plan vacations is essential in the grand scheme of things.

5. Do not extol the virtues of drinking in the bar 5 nights a week. This will never win any fair princess's heart. If you spend all your time boozing with the boys, it's time to take a step back and pick up some more productive habits. Taking your lady for a drink is fine, especially if you take her to get cocktails at a nice lounge, but give them the impression that you live there will get you absolutely nowhere fast.

6. Keep your super fan status in check. If you love your sports and enjoying watch the game with your buddies, fine. If sport is a religion and you have your favorite player's number tattooed on your back, you may have a problem. If you are serious about dating, rattling off baseball stats, ranting about unfair umpires and constantly check the score will put them off in record time. To the uninitiated, sports are completely boring, and many women interpret the obsession as a total lack of thought, creativity or inspiration. Millions of girls love sports too, and rooting for the same team is great, but don't make your passion into a one-sided one.

9. Never expect sex on a first date. If all you are after is sex, you have come to the wrong place for reading material. If you are looking for the girl of your dreams, there is nothing sexier than a patient man. You are easily capable of waiting for the right woman.

10. Read up on manners, courtesy and chivalry. A woman likes being treated with respect. Lose the coarse language, the swear words, the rudeness and the laziness. Know how to eat in a top restaurant. Know about fashion, jewelry and flowers. Know how to hold a door open for a woman, let her go first and help her with her seat. Listen to what she says but have opinions of your own too. Show her respect and manners at every step and you'll be on the right path.

11. Start listening and stop talking. Keep your date interested but don't turn into a one-man circus. She will bore of you quickly because she wants to talk about herself too. Listen to things she tells you about her and remember them. Women love to chat so you need to learn to listen to her. Remembering things she told you will impress her even more.

12. Give up smoking. Now.

13. Learn to dance even if you have two left feet. Women love to dance and it puts you two in close contact. It is also romantic and sexy. You can be the world's worst dancer, I don't care. But if you stay seated when she is on that dance floor you may as well not exist. Try joining salsa and ballroom classes. You don't need to be Travolta but you should have an idea of the basics of rhythm. Get started today.

Tips For Dating - Men

Dating Tips for Men
Dating tips for men will help with online dating and more.

Dating can be frustrating for men—it's hard to figure out what women want! Our tips will make it clear how to act, what to wear, and what to say to attract—and keep—the attention of women who interest you. Behave like a gentleman and you'll find dating success. The mysteries of women can never be completely revealed, but we come as close as we can to help you find a woman you like, ask her out, and embark on a successful relationship. With the right approach and knowledge, communicating with a woman can be more than just a frustrating mystery!Finding a date is easy once you know how to do it! We'll give you top tips for creating successful online personal ads, as well as attracting attention in your every day life. Decide what you're looking for in a potential partner, learn how to ask someone out, and find out to behave on a first date (even a blind date!). These tips will help you find more dates than you ever dreamed of! And because we emphasize thinking about what you want in a date before asking someone out, your dates are much more likely to be successful in the long run!

Quick Dating Tips
How to Ask Someone Out on a Date

If you like some one you may have to ask them for a date. For men this is standard practise and for women, this process is becoming increasingly common. If you are thinking of asking someone on a date consider the following quick dating tips:

1. Why are you asking them out, is it for the right reasons and what do you expect as a result of them saying yes or no?
2. Be prepared that the person you ask may say no and in which case do not take the rejection personally.
3. When asking someone out choose your moment carefully and practise what you might say in advance so that you don't appear tongue-tied.
4. If the person you ask says yes, ensure you already have thought of a place, date and time for the date so that you display signs of thoughfulness.
5. Be prepared for the person asking why you want to date them so that you are able to flatter and create a sense of trust immediately. People can be wary and they may want to know some reasosn behind your request. Better, anticipate this by saying "would you like to come to dinner, I have always thought you are great fun..".
6. Make sure that your request for a date does not pressurize the person in any way. If they want to think about it, let them. But don't chase.
7. Make sure that when you ask someone on a date you smile and keep things fun and happy. Being confident and smiley will elicit a far more positive response.
8. Always have an alternative date and time or location in mind should the person be unsure of their diary. Giving a person a choice is often a marketing masterstroke.
9. If the person says no, don't chase for a reason, simply move on. They may think about things and get back to you with a yes response later.
10. If you ask someone on a date, make sure that you actually intend to go through with it. Standing people up is not allowed.
11. If you are being asked out don't play games. If you need time to consider the offer then say so. If you want to say no, say no. But do not keep someone hanging on for no reason. You wouldn't like the situation if it was reversed.
12. Try to avoid dutch-courage such as using alcohol to boost your courage levels as this will often backfire.
13. Don't ask someone out when they are in a group of friends. Timing is everything.