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Thursday, March 18, 2010

Dating Etiquette and Rules to Follow

When you start dating, following a few rules of thumb will help you be more successful. It's tempting to avoid restating the basics, but the truth is, we all forget them from time to time. Dating is about two people coming together to get to know one another and find out whether they are compatible, then enjoying each other's company and eventually forming a close bond. During this process, there are some important guidelines you should remember:

1. Dating should always be fun, and it's as much your responsibility as it is your partner's to ensure that it is. When you're dating, make sure you do everything you can to make the time you spend together enjoyable. 2. Eye contact is crucial, and it's good etiquette to give your date as much of your attention as possible. They should feel like they are the only person in the room. Do not use a date as an excuse for general partying. 3. Always be courteous and complimentary. Your date has made an effort to look nice for you, and your negative opinions and comments are unwelcome at this stage. 4.Never ogle your date. It's rude, and it proves that all you care about is the other person's physical appearance. This will turn a woman off faster than almost anything else. 5. Always show up for a date, unless you've given notice and let the other person know you have to cancel. Standing someone up is not acceptable, and it shows contempt for your prospective date by wasting their time. That kind of arrogance is detestable. 6. Always be on time, and never keep your date waiting. If your transportation is unreliable, plan ahead and leave early so you can be there when the other person arrives. Being late shows a lack of respect for your date and illustrates how disorganized you are. 7. Never be flashy or extravagant. There's no need to attempt to impress your partner with your wealth and importance. It shows no taste whatsoever to throw your credit card around and order expensive champagne, unless you're only after cheap thrills and don't care how it makes you look in front of the person you're trying to get to know. 8. Smoking excessively during a date is bad form, unless your partner also enjoys chain-smoking. In general, smoking in a restaurant will do nothing for your image and shows crass disregard for others. 9. Don't be arrogant on your date, and try to avoid talking about politics and/or religion in the early stages. You may be very opinionated on certain topics, but that does not mean you're right, or that your opinions won't offend the person you're with. Arrogance makes most people feel uncomfortable, so avoid it at all costs. 10. Never argue or be rude to others during your date -- it simply is unacceptable. You're trying to show the other person your best qualities, so arguing about the tip or whether the wine is chilled enough will make you look like a fool. 11. Be a good listener, and don't talk your date to death. Listening shows interest and the ability to compromise. If your idea of a date is talking about yourself and your opinions all night, then do the world a favor and stay at home alone. 12. Dress well. In this day and age, there is absolutely no excuse for looking shabby. Dressing poorly shows laziness and will do nothing to make you look good. Furthermore, it shows a lack of respect for your date, who has more than likely made an effort to dress nicely. 13. Make an effort to be clean and smell good. Make sure you're clean-shaven (where applicable), freshly showered and smell nice. It costs you nothing except a bottle of good perfume/cologne and some soap. 14. Never swear or use bad language. It will make you sound like an idiot. If you want to find the person of your dreams, you must treat them with respect. 15. Never discuss your other dates or how many people you've slept with. It's rude and shows you have no class. 16. Even if you don't like your date, don't be quick to give them a hard time. Your partner is human and, like you, deserves to always to be treated with respect. You can still have a good time hanging out with someone you're not attracted to, so treating them badly just because they're not your type is unacceptable. Rudeness is not allowed. 17. Never tell lies on a date to get someone into bed or to try to make yourself sound good. You will be found out, and then you will be rejected. Tell the truth, or avoid a subject if necessary. 18. The man should pick up the dinner tab on the first date, and it's probably a bad idea to discuss money at all at this stage. Many people feel that financial discussions are crass and lack sophistication. 19. Make sure your date feels comfortable at all times, and never do anything that might make them uncomfortable. Also, a man should always make sure his date gets home safely in a cab or by other means. 20. Never try to sleep with someone on the first date. Sex comes later. If you sleep together too early, chances are it will be over before it began. 21. Be as entertaining and witty as possible, and never rely on getting drunk as a fall-back plan. Drinking too much on a date shows that you have no respect for your partner and makes a mockery of the whole situation. 22. Call when you say you'll call, and never leave someone hanging. If you didn't have a good time on your date, don't falsely promise anything or leave the door open. Doing so shows great disrespect for the other person, and it's much easier for everyone if you're honest about how you feel. 23. Never pretend to be single when you're not. Telling your companion late in the game that you're taken is very inconsiderate. Date only when you are single.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Dating as a Challenge

Master the social art of dating by playing the game!
For some people, dating is a challenge. It is a conquest, a crusade and a sport. As you are neither a competitor or a prize, don't allow yourself to be come a victim to such players. Dating is an affair of the heart and should be treated as such. It is fun to date but it is also serious business. However, when we date, it is true that we do like a challenge, we like to get the guy, we like to get the gal. It makes us feel good about ourselves to date someone nice and so it would be unfair not to talk about challenge in dating.

We often like to go for someone just out of reach, that is a challenge. As humans with ambition, we like to reach and strive upwards. Therefore, dating someone we view as slightly out of our league (for a million reasons) is all the more attractive. This could be someone wealthy, or in a good job, or someone who is simply not usually our 'type'.
It is interesting how we are able to adapt ourselves to this level of interest in people we may not usually consider, when we are dating. Generally we will stick to people in our own social strata as we are more comfortable here and we will date those people who we generally have done in the past. After all, it is where we feel subconsciously that we belong.

Yet every now and again a challenge presents itself. You see a guy who you really fancy, someone you could really go for but someone who may not normally go for a girl (or guy) like you. As a guy you see a girl who would not take a second glance at you. The challenge is set. Challenges are healthy because they take us out of our comfort zone and allow us to grow as human beings. They also give us confidence, especially when we succeed in our challenge.
Who doesn't want to date a supermodel or a male superstar? Its a natural part of fantasy to strive for what we perceive as perfection. Reality may be different but it doesn't prevent us from taking on challenges occasionally. However it is fair to say, that in reality we won't date the superstars and even if we did, we would probably not enjoy it half so much anyway.
When I was younger I had always wanted to date a rich girl and I was lucky to meet a great girl called Nicola who had very wealthy parents. It was not that I was very poor but I was attracted to and interested in her lifestyle and everything about her lifestyle. Not for possessions, but just because her ways of doing things were different to my own.

The first weekend I was invited to her parents house in London and soon discovered that her world was out of my league. We went to a party and I was expected to cover the cost of champagne. Even the smallest things were way out of my price range and soon I discovered that however much I liked this girl I really didn't fit in and couldn't afford her world unfortunately. There were her ways of doing things that I knew nothing about. Forms of behavior and social etiquette that I was new to and I found every function stressful. In the end we parted amicably and I wished her the best. The point of the story being that to date a girl like her was challenge, but once I got there, she was a date too difficult to sustain.

For girls the challenge is in dating a cool, good-looking bad-boy. He could be the ski instructor or the life guard or the surf instructor. No woman has managed to capture this man's heart so she thinks she is the one to do it. He is enigmatic, he is trouble with a capital T, and he is oh so Mr. Popular. All the girls love him because he is a maverick. So why do the girls love him, because he doesn't care, because he is full of confidence, because he doesn't need a woman. This raises the interests levels of certain women. They rise to the challenge and aim to be the one who will tame him.
Why is it that you are ALWAYS more popular when you have a partner? It is of course because you are attractive by design. You have a partner therefore the people around you see you as being more attractive and successful in relationships. After all, if they have you and you respect them ,then there must be something about you after all. The challenge is set, they want you also, because they want to challenge themselves to see if they can get you. They may not want you but they certainly want to know that they could have had you! Its a real irony, but you are at your most desirable when attached and at your most wanted. The moment you are single, people want to know why.

Insecurity in some promotes challenge. By having conquests and sleeping with many partners one gets a false sense of attractiveness, self confidence and being wanted. The fact is, its just sex, nothing more. When a guy is young her will challenge himself to get certain girls into bed. He will aim to seek confidence and self understanding through self-set conquests. It is mainly a sign of immaturity, but it affects people of all adult ages.
Challenges in dating will always be with us, they are a natural part of our psyche in us wanting to obtain something and someone we feel is out of our reach. When dating make sure that you are not someone else's challenge and be a little cautious. If you yourself are seeking a dating challenge then at least have the respect to date the person properly once they finally say yes to your charms.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Confidence in Dating

Why You Should Become More Confident

I once read the results of a survey in a leading woman's magazine that said the number 1 most attractive quality in a man was confidence. Not arrogance, confidence. It took some time to sink in as to what this really meant. Did it mean grabbing the girl in matinee idol pose and whisking her backwards whilst I kissed those luscious lips of hers? Did it mean turning into a caveman never taking no for an answer? Did it mean turning up at the door of the girl next door and whisking her off to Paris for the weekend, though we had hardly spoken? What did they mean by confidence? The quest was on it find out.

Every woman I have asked will answer in a different vein so the answer isn't all things to all men. Confidence, it appears, is in the eye of the beholder. Even worse, confidence can easily be misconstrued so one has to tread carefully. The point is not confidence itself, but it’s easier to define by its opposite, fear. Fear in men is not attractive. Fear defines a man as not knowing his own value, lacking a feeling of self worth, not being sure of his abilities, lacking in presence and determination. This I may add is very different from justifiable fear that we all face.

Okay, back to confidence. Men are attractive when they are confident said one friend. Another told me, "ooh a confident man makes me go weak at the knees". So I pressed them further. A confident man it seems is one who carries with him a self-assuredness that is most definitely not arrogance. It is a state where a man feels sure of himself and his abilities, knows what he is about, knows himself for what he can do,, what he may be able to do, what he may fail at but does not fear to try. A confident man is in control of his destiny, his future, his career, his day. And to many women that is very attractive.

After all, a woman is looking for a partner, one who will not only match with her mentally and physically, but someone who can drive her onwards, someone who has ambition and vitality, someone who can pass hi self assuredness on to her. A man who is confident is sexy because he is comfortable with himself, he is in control and he is able to make decisions, good decisions. He is confident in the choices he makes and in choosing you (maybe really you selected him), he passes this feeling of being special on to you. Being selected by the right man can be very sexy indeed.

If you are going to date the beauty in the corner and father her children then running away is not a good start, neither is feeling bad about yourself and failing to be able to hold a decent conversation. Far too many men decide in advance of an approach if they are worth of a woman's attentions or not. All too often they believe they are not. Except where alcohol is involved. Men in bars exude confidence, but they also exude beer breath as well! No the fact is that guys who lack confidence prejudge most situations and inevitably take themselves out of the dating fray before it ever happens, hoping, strangely, that the woman will make the first move.

The fact is, the confident men more often than not get the girl, because the confident man has something about him. I know plenty of good looking handsome men who are afraid to approach women so it’s not necessarily about looks. No, it’s about something within. Confidence is about self respect and self understanding. It comes from understanding what you yourself are about and when this happens a sexy man reaches out. Often lack of confidence in men is because of physique and yet it is an issue so easy to fix. 12 weeks in a gym will change a man's life. A fit man is a confident man. Dress is also something that instills confidence. No man has an excuse for not dressing reasonably smart these days as fashion for men is everywhere.

Ultimately we all lose confidence from time to time. People can take our confidence away at work or at home, in partnerships and on our own. Ultimately though these are passing phases. If a man can do one thing for himself in the dating game, that is to learn about his own confidence levels in an honest way and then go about doing something to increase them. Feel good about yourself guys and someone will feel good about you.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Top Five Online Dating Sites

Personality profiles and time-tested matching systems help members find the most compatible matches with the possibility of pursuing a serious relationship. Read more about these top 5 online dating Websites and start searching.

Yahoo Personals
The Yahoo Personals dating site has millions of members with detailed photo profiles that offer the freedom to describe yourself in full detail. Yahoo Personals online dating service is among the best online dating services due to the following features:

1. Large membership base
2. Diverse members
3. Online dating advice magazine
4. Multiple communication options including email and instant messages
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PerfectMatch
Thirty years of scientific research back up the compatibility matching system used by PerfectMatch. More than 4 million members use the service to find compatible singles for dating and relationships. You can sit back and wait for the service to match you with others, or search for a new partner on your own! Join PerfectMatch to get the following great features:

1. Duet Total Compatibility System
2. Powerful search tools Matches made by the system
3. More Info on Perfect Match
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eHarmony
If you're seeking a serious relationship, look no further than eHarmony. This online dating service requires members to fill out an extensive personality profile that helps the service match members with one another. By delving deep into your personality and emotions, eHarmony is able to match you with other online dating service members who are highly compatible. eHarmony offers quality matches based on:

1. Character and constitution
2. Personality
3. Emotional makeup and skills
4. Family and values
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Match.com
With millions of members, Match.com is one of the largest online dating services. You can also search the site to find people that interest you. Match.com is one of the best online dating services and offers members many ways to get to know one another as quickly or slowly as they prefer.Special Match.com online dating features include:

1. Dr. Phil's MindFindBind solution for successful relationships
2. Make Love Happen guarantee: find someone special within 6 months or get 6 more months free!
3. Free portrait toolkit to help you start creating your profile
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Chemistry.com
Chemistry.com is a perfect online dating service for busy professionals who want to meet compatible people as soon as possible! Chemistry's main focus is bringing people together in real life very quickly, but while still giving them a chance to get to know each other first. To accomplish this, the online dating site uses these features:

1. Complete a personality profile to get your matches
2. Guided communication process to learn about each other
3. Meet in person as soon as you're ready!
4. Service adjusts your future matches based on what you think of people you've met
Type any of the dating sites named above in google search to get the site's link should you have interest in any.

Top Dating Dos and Don'ts

No one ever said dating was easy. First dates are awkward, second dates are expectant and the dates that follow that -- during which two people really start getting down to the business of getting to know each other -- present hundreds, if not thousands, of opportunities for missteps, faux pas, blunders and mistakes. That is to say nothing of the myriad chances for problems to which you could fall prey while arranging, planning and preparing for dates.

We call too often or not enough, we're too available or never around, we wear sandals to fancy restaurants, laugh hysterically at bad jokes, show up with blue carnations, gab on our cell phones during dinner and commit countless other dating crimes, mostly without realizing we’re doing it. No doubt about it -- bad dating behavior is a rampant affliction, and it's time to cure it with some common sense advice.

If dating is a game, then just like any other game, there are rules you need to study, learn and follow. After all, you wouldn't take the field without knowing where the base lines are, would you? (For those of you who are immune to ball field metaphors, the answer is "no.") While none of these do's and don'ts are set in stone -- and, as your mother told you, there are obviously exceptions to every rule -- here we attempt to equip you with an idiot-proof playbook for the fast-paced, intense, exciting, full-contact sport of searching for someone with whom to fall in love.

Dating Rules -- Do's
1. Do try to always look your best and be punctual. Showing up late or looking messy gives the impression that you don't care -- and, if that's the case, why go out with this person in the first place?

2. Do try to enjoy yourself on dates. Yes, finding your soul mate is serious business, and it can sometimes even be a scary endeavor, but keep in mind that this is supposed to be fun.

3. Do compliment your date on how he or she looks. Men and women tend to put a lot of effort into getting ready for a date, and it's nice (and flattering) to hear that all that energy paid off.

4. Do be interested and interesting. Ask questions, share insights and pay attention when your date is telling you what they like to do, read, watch, listen to, etc.

5. Do tell someone directly if you're not interested in seeing them again. Lying and stringing people along simply because you're too scared to tell them the truth is selfish and hurtful. If you don't want to go on another date with someone, let them down as gently -- but firmly -- as possible.

6. Do date only people you're attracted to, no matter what your friends say. Approval by your peers doesn't prove a thing.

7. Do stay positive, even when dates don't end well. It is most certainly true that you will date a few frogs before you find a prince. Along the way, you will probably meet some pretty nice people.

8. Do plan ahead. Dating is a creative diversion that requires concentration and energy, so make arrangements ahead of time and let your date know you put some thought into the evening.

9. Do be proactive about finding people to date. The man or woman you've been searching for your whole life is probably not going to come ring your doorbell and beg you to go to dinner anytime soon. Dating requires action, so get out there and meet as many people as you can.

10. Do surround yourself with positive, like-minded people who are dating, too. Part of the fun of dating is celebrating, comparing notes and commiserating with your friends. Surround yourself with positive people who are rooting for you to succeed at love and will be there for you if/when you need emotional support.

Dating Rules -- Don'ts
1. Don't call, text message or email someone you've just started seeing more than once a day unless they reply (or in the event of an emergency). Desperation and instability are major turnoffs.

2. Don't date the kind of people who've hurt you in the past. Many of us are attracted to people who are bad for us, but it's important to break these patterns and seek out healthy relationships with matches who won't demean you or make you feel bad about yourself in any way.

3. Don't be late for a date. It's just rude. If you have to change your plans, give the other person as much notice and consideration as possible. And always apologize.

4. Don't lie to your date or about any aspect of your life, even if the truth isn't as sexy or you're worried they won't like it. It would be awful to ruin a potentially life-changing relationship with your perfect match because of some silly lie you told early on to impress him or her.

5. Don't be too available. We don't mean you should play games, but if you're free every night, you're probably not taking care of yourself, pursuing your own interests and spending time with your friends -- which means you're probably not very interesting to talk to. People with full, exciting lives make the best dates.

6. Don't give away too much about yourself at the beginning. Revealing your innermost secrets on the second date can lead to rejection. Don't be scared to open up, but remember that getting to know someone takes time, and you should let your relationship evolve.

7. Don't check out other people when you're on a date. Ever. This is just tacky. You may think you are subtle, but while you're scoping the cutie in the corner, your date will be heading for the door. Extend your partner the courtesy of concentrating solely on them while you're with them.

8. Don't be rude or get drunk on a date. Courtesy and manners will get you everywhere.

9. Don't ignore your personal safety. Carry your cell phone and keep it charged -- and make sure to tell your friends where you're going and when you'll be back. First dates should take place in well-lit public places. Don't ever let yourself be coerced into going anywhere or doing anything that makes you uncomfortable.

10. Don't give out personal information like your home phone number or address on the first date. Keep these details to yourself until you trust the person you're dating.

11. Don't have sex on a first date. If you like someone and are interested in getting to know them better (and possibly having a relationship), sex on a first date will likely ruin everything. It's much too soon, it's not romantic and it communicates to the other person that you're more interested in their physical characteristics than in finding out who they are.

12. Never date a married person. Statistically, it is very unlikely that they will ever leave their husband or wife for you. Dating someone who's married is the best way to serve yourself a heaping helping of misery, lies, deceit, sadness and heartache. If you are married, separate before dating. If you're single, don't be a shoulder to cry on -- you deserve better. Go out and find someone who's emotionally (and legally) available to you!